Sometimes I feel like a total hypocrit. I preach intuitive eating and talk about how we need to let our bodies guide us, and no foods are off limits, but what if you have a kid who seems to never tire of sugar and candy? How do you handle this as a parent who doesn’t want to spread messages that foods are “good vs. bad”? I won’t name names, but one of my kids fits that category. I’ve read all the books, listened to all the podcasts (even the one I posted, with Jennifer Anderson, she makes it sound so easy!) but then real life enters the picture and the guidelines get a bit lost.
Long story short, I did baby led weaning with both of my kids, so they were able to try different flavors and textures from about 6 months on. They were, of course, not picky as babies (not many babies are). They ate broccoli, salmon, tofu, rice cakes, you name it, they would (generally) eat it. Inevitably they got pickier once they went to preschool. The combination of other kid’s opinions, increased desire for autonomy, and changing tastebuds, generally makes for a stretch of time where kids are more “choosey”. It’s normal. To get through this, some suggested steps include;
- Not making a fuss about it. The more you talk about it or pressure your kid, the more they will push back.
- Not overfilling their plate. A plate that is too full can be overwhelming to your child.
- Continue exposing them! Exposing doesn’t mean they must eat the food. You can give them the dino nuggets (you know, so they eat!) but also put some peas or cantaloupe on their plate. They may push them aside, but that was an exposure, and that exposure matters.
- Know that it may take 10-20 exposures before your child eats something. My daughter ate lasagna after I offered it to her about 10 times. She loves it now.
- Eat a variety of foods yourself, in front of your young ones
- Don’t give up on them. Know this is normal. Continue exposing your kids to new foods, one day, they might try them, and they might even like them! Or, maybe not, and that’s ok too (I’ve been exposed to dragon fruit many times but I’m pretty sure I’ll never like it).
Anyway, back to my feeling of hypocrosy. One of my kids in the last year has really upped the sugar in their diet. We have sugar in the house, but with all the sugar lurking just about everywhere else these days, I realize they probably get more sugar than is good for them. I keep waiting for their “intuition to kick in” and for them to get a little sick of sugar, but the reality is, when there are so many different sources of sugar available (ice cream, candy, cupcakes, Nutella, cake pops, etc) it’s hard to habituate to sugar. For a while I started becoming that overbearing (dare I say it….) “Almond Mom”….reminding my child, “Sugar doesn’t make you feel good when you eat too much!” or “Make sure to brush your teeth after eating all that sugar!” or “Is there any way you could add something else to your plate for more balance”? In theory, these are all fine things to say. What we don’t want to do is instill guilt or shame or make our kids feel morally shameful for eating certain foods.
But, I realized, I was saying things way too often, and my comments were becoming triggering for my child, who started essentially rebelling against me in complete annoyance about my comments. Here is what I have learned;
- It’s ok to be concerned about your child’s sugar intake, but they don’t need to be reminded of your concern over and over again.
- It’s ok to nudge your child to include more balanced options, but sometimes just having those options available at the table, is all you need to do (in other words, more action, less talk)
- When I was young, and my mom told me to do something or acted “Concerned about something”, it annoyed me, and I rebelled. Perhaps my child is just like me.
- Sugar is delicious, and kids need to learn how to live in this sugar-filled world on their own, without their parents breathing down their neck. They need to figure out how to make their own decisions, and they can’t figure it out if we don’t let them.
- Being more mindful of the sources of sugar in the house is probably smart, especially if you have kids who are at the age where they can just go ot he pantry and grab what they want (or if they are old enough to be out on their own on bikes and scooters and visiting places like Starbucks!). Autonomy in food choices is great, but having sugary snacks available at all times means they will likely grab them. In our family, the pantry gets raided right after school, and if they are going to fill up on snacks before dinner, I prefer the snack to not be sugar-filled. Because our kids have so much more access to sugar these days, outside the home, than we ever did (it’s true), I’ve learned to cut back a bit on the sugar in the home. That’s my choice, you may decide something different.
What has worked in your family? Have you noticed this shift in our environment to more sugar-filled snacks and treats for kids? If you’re wanting to learn more, especially as the holidays approach, I encourage you to listen to my podcast episode with Jennifer Anderson! . Also, reach out ot me! I’d love to discuss what’s working, what’s not working, and provide any tips I can. I offer 30-60 minute sessions, which you can set up by emailing me at TrustYourBodyRD@gmail.com!
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